I was really going to just not come up with the other ten things and hope you wouldn't notice, but of course you would do something like this.
Thank you, because I needed that.
So here you are:
1. One of the strongest memories (read: ‘visuals’ because the context is unclear so I’m not sure if that really classifies as a ‘memory’) I have from my pre-age-10 youth is of my older brother putting a bug into an empty peanut butter jar. I don’t remember what kind of bug it was, but this was significant to me because A) I felt sorry for the bug – somehow I felt like I understood the sacrifice of space and freedom it was giving up by no choice of its own; and B) It was in a peanut butter jar – for a very short period my mother put a ban on peanut butter because we would go through it so fast, and ever since peanut butter has become akin to manna for me. Sacred, perfect, hits the spot every time. The contrast of a bug in a holy jar…it was (and still is, obviously?) mind blowing.
|link to original here|
2. I deeply crave this anthology. Norton Anthologies generally rock my socks, so to have one for children’s lit? My heart hurts to think about it. Someday when we have more money than we do now, I will buy this book. I may be 50+ by then, but maybe I can read it to my grandchildren, eh?
3. When I was, oh, 13-ish? Give or take a few years? A distant relative at a funeral suggested I get into step aerobics to lose my baby fat. It wasn’t unusual for people to comment about my chub (even though in retrospect I don’t think I was even that chubby) ever since I can remember, so commonly I took it with a grain of salt, but the fact that someone would bring it up at a funeral really got my goat. I unconsciously resolved from that moment on to stay slightly over-weight for the rest of my life. To live a full, happy, healthy life regardless of my shape/size. I still have issues from time to time about what I look like compared to others, but I try to remind myself of that funeral, and how life is about far more than just image.
|Me around age 13|
4. I store a lot of my tension between my shoulder blades. I’ve always got a knot there, regardless of how much I kneed, stretch, or try to relax those muscles. But meh. I can think of worse places to hang on to tension.
5. Deadlines are key for me to get things done. If someone tells me there’s no rush, I take that at face value and don’t rush. A month, two months, six months later…oh, that’s right. Maybe I should get around to that.
6. I laughed during the push-part of Beta’s labor. My midwife looked at me with a stern face and told me to be serious. The thing was, up until that point I had been freaking out because Alpha’s labor was over-the-top horrible. So my laughter was a release. It was my moment of recognition that things were going to be okay this time around.
7. We have a ship hanging from our ceiling. The boys love it. Hubs loves it. I love it.
|Our sky ship|
8. I almost majored in Art/Illustration instead of English/Literature and I very much wonder what my life would be like if I’d gone down that path instead. I’m very happy with the place I’m in, in this moment, but I still wonder.
9. It’s a blue moon when I hear this song now, and usually in really random places, but every time I do it still brings a lump to my throat. I played the viola in the Boise Youth Philharmonic for just one season and the Jurassic Park Theme was one of the songs we played. It may not be all that thrilling to listen to? I don’t know. But it was thrilling to play.
10. And two for the price of one: when I first met Hubs he had these big bushy chops that came down nearly to his chin I absolutely adored; momo’s are one of my top three favorite foods and coincidentally I had them for dinner the night I met Hubs. This seems important for some reason I can’t put my finger on.
There now, I've spilled a bunch of beans. Your turn -- tell me something about yourself in the comments that I probably don't know. Some detail about your youth, your love, the way you see yourself, something you're embarrassed about or proud of...these are just suggestions.
The magic is in the details, right?
Loved it all! I have actually sat here for a few minutes trying to think of something fabulous, and profound to tell about my life. I don't actually have anything. So instead I will share this: I don't know that I will ever be able to fully understand who I am. I think there are certain parts of myself that are locked away from even me by providential design. Finding those parts, attempting to solve my own puzzle is really what makes me me. If I wasn't searching, I wouldn't really know what to do so I am grateful at least for the journey. Also, I have an irrational fear of sharks in the toilet bowl.ReplyDelete
Ah, but don't you see? This is fabulous and profound to me, and helps me to know you a little bit better. Thanks for commenting and sharing.Delete
I love that picture of you. You look much older than 13.ReplyDelete
I carry my tension in the exact same spot. I get occasional massages and even that doesn't get rid of it.
I have a similar memory of a relative telling me I was overweight (which I wasn't at that time) but mine was at the Tracy Aviary. Funny how those things stick in our memories.
Something you don't know about me? That I haven't blabbed or blogged about? I can fingerspell (sign language) the words to 'As I Have Loved You' as fast as it is sung.
People always thought I was older than my age, but the funny thing was, since I'm an August baby I was always youngest in my class. People would sign themselves out of school who looked two or three years my junior, but I graduated when I was still 17 so I never got to. Obviously I'm still irked by this :)Delete
Isn't it sad that it's usually our relatives who make the overweight comments that stick with us? I'm sorry. I think every girl has at least one of these stories, but it's always sad to hear about it.
And you can fingerspell that fast? I can't imagine it, but I love this. Love it.
Right, I want that book, overweight...seriously....huh? sorry don't get that comment from your relative! I am fantastic at giving shoulder rubs and why not laugh during labour?!? It is the happiest and most magical part of life! How amazing is your ship?? you played the viola in a philharmonic orchestra?? and you can remember such fabulous deatils about meetng hubs! I loved all of it :-DReplyDelete
Me...I live in constant fear that the people who mean the world to me will suddenly wake up and realise they don't like me after all and leave me all alone! How sad is it that this is the only thing about me I haven't blabbed on the blog or when chatting with you ;-)
I just knew you would love the anthology as much as I do. That makes me smile. Huge smile.Delete
And I know what you mean about that specific fear. It happens -- maybe not over night, but for reasons I don't understand -- so I get you. At the same time, the constant fear helps us recognize the gift of daily love, eh? Because we know it may not always be there, each day we have it is that much more blessed.
Thanks for sharing these. I also have tension in between the shoulders. Sorry it's there, but it could be worse.ReplyDelete
I love that you love that ship and that you love (and played - like me on clarinet) the Jurassic Park theme. I still enjoy the music.
What? You played it too? Somehow the world feels a little smaller and more complete, now. This makes me happy.Delete
Norton anthologies are my crack.ReplyDelete
Great stuff, and you're a confident woman to share your 13 year old self. I think I burned all pics of me at that age.
"Norton anthologies are my crack"...Yes. This is what I really meant to say, though at the time I couldn't find the words.Delete
And I don't know about confident. It just doesn't get much better than pictures in our early teens, does it? The best part is that at the time the thought went along the lines of, "Oh yeah, I'm totally rockin' this dress..." Or whatever wicked hairstyle/outfit we had on.
I look back at myself and say, "You go Pollyanna, you do yo' thang."
Wow, Deb. You are super deep. I'm not. You may or may not have known that about me. I can be (I think), but it's not my natural state.ReplyDelete
I would guess that I carry my tension in my head, since real stress gives me migraines. But I don't really stress often.
Something about me? I almost changed my major to Geology 3/4 of the way through a Linguistics degree because I took the intro class and LOVED it. Rocks, right? Who knew? Anyway, the only reason I didn't was because it required a lot of math classes and because of my ACT score I hadn't taken any, so I didn't want to take the time to catch up.
Caitlyn! I've missed your voice! And you may say you're not deep, but I've read your stuff, and where you might joke about it just being a rollicking adventure I see all this beautiful depth and meaning that makes me sit back and think. So perhaps it comes more naturally to you than you realize, eh?Delete
I like rocks too, now that you mention it. Math sucks, though, so I see why you didn't switch. Math can keep me from doing pretty much anything.
Chub? Where? I don't see any chub!ReplyDelete
Also - a ceiling ship! Where do I get me one of those? That is absolutely brilliant!
I don't know where you get a ceiling ship -- Hubs just came home with it one afternoon and it's been hanging out there ever since. It's amazing how much more fun things generally are when they're suspended from the ceiling. Chairs. Doorknobs. You know...the usual unusual. You should try it.Delete
Hey, I'm trying to get a hold of you. I want to come down today for a visit.ReplyDelete
Me? Hard to get a hold of? I never...Delete
And thanks for the visit. We love to see you, love.